Building Influence: Kevin Sidebottom’s Lessons from Sales and the Stage

Welcome back to my first stage podcast. We are here live at the NSA Influence conference meeting. So many amazing speakers, amazing people, including my new friend, Kevin Sidebottom.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here. Kevin is the introverted engineer who has spent his career in sales and sales. Sounds like the worst possible nightmare career for an introvert.

Yes.

Why did you do this to yourself?

Well, it started with me on an interview on a sailboat with a gentleman that was trying to vet me for a really specific position to date his daughter. And so did it. Yeah, it worked. It worked out. It worked out. So we're having this discussion. Great days. Teaching me all about sailboats, because I know nothing about sailboats.

And so we're out there. He's also an ex Navy seal.

Oh.

So part of the reason I Not terrifying. Yeah, I think part of the reason he was taking me out there on

the boat was maybe bring the concrete shoes with him.

I don't think he needed them. Just. Just throwing it out there. So we're out there and he says, well, where do you see yourself in five years? And I said, well, manager, some leadership position, something. And he says, great. Can I give you some advice? I'm trying to date his daughter, so I'm probably not gonna sit there and say no, especially since he could just literally kill me. We can say that on here, right?

Yeah.

Okay, perfect.

With one hand.

So, yeah. Yeah. So I said, well, tell me a little bit more about it. And so he's like, well, you know, I've been doing it for so many years. I'm ex navc, all the yada, yada, yada. And I said, is there much money in there? And he said, well, I've got three jets. And I said, tell me more. And that's literally where we just started going with it.

And I leapt out of being an engineer and I went to learn from this guy. And, you know, I've won awards, I've done $100 million deals. I've managed about a billion dollars spend from an organization. You know, his initials are fca, and I've just done well. And that means anybody can do it. Because if I can do it as an introverted engineer, anybody can do sales.

Now, the most important question here is that now your father in law.

No, everybody asked that. And no, that is not my father in law, But I stopped dating her. He was a businessman. He kept me employed because he said I make him money. So there you go.

Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah. It's respectable.

So now you. You're an introvert who works in sales who also, based on your presence at this conference, speaks on stages.

I do, yes.

Why?

So I spent two decades in sales, and there's one ingredient in sales that actually works in leadership, and it's called influence, which is kind of funny because that's what it's titled here, right? Influence. And the more influence you have, the more you sell and the more influence you have, the more people follow you. And I've been in different kind of positions where I've had all this influence and people would help me and go do everything. And you know what? It just something I said. I think anybody can do this, but everybody's scared to do it. And so here I am just speaking on stages to help people understand it's not that difficult because again, if I can do it, anybody can do it. And let me show you the path and the process, because that's all it really is, is following the same process over and over again. And that's what you learn at this conference.

And just about anywhere you go is those that succeed follow the process.

Now, what was your process for getting past. I don't like being an introvert. It can't be natural for you to get up on stage and talk in front of people.

No.

What was your process for getting past that and working past the stage fright, the fear, all of it. So that you could become that speaker that you are now.

So obviously there's going to be a little bit of fear being in front of anybody. It's the worst fear. It's. People feared public speaking over death, which is ironic. But for me, I took it and channeled my sales stuff. And I mean, I can do all this stuff and I'll go and speak on stage and I'll, you know, do sales calls, I'll, you know, do negotiate deals, look over the lawyer papers, all that stuff, legal documents. And at the end of the day, being an introvert is just where you get your energy or extrovert. Some people get their energy from groups of people, like my best friend, Mimi Brown.

She is fantastic. Me, I go get my energy when I get out of here and I go to the gym, work out and just kind of think things through. And so you can do anything you want. You just got to be able to go and recover afterwards. So I just do it. And it's not just. I mean, the pay is pretty nice, but to be able to go out there and just do it to add value to people, that's what it's about. So if I got to do something that takes me out of my comfort zone.

Let's do it.

I love that. Now, what was the experience like? The show is called my first stage. What was the experience like for you the first time you did step on stage? Because I'm sure it's taken a while for you to get comfortable.

Yes, the first time. You know, you never see a comedian do his first bit on the main stage. They do it in the nightclubs.

Yeah.

So I went out and did it with rotaries and I talked to different organizations and the organization I worked for, I was helping engineers do this. And so I did all my reps and I would watch the video so I was prepared. And when I first got out onto the stage for somebody who paid me money, which was kind of nice, I hit it as best I could, but I had the video to review to do it again. But, you know, it's just taking that step. You're going to suck at the first time you do anything.

Yes.

I mean, I fell off my bike multiple times. I got the scars all over missions, but I got back up and did it. And so if you can think through that of, hey, you're not going to be as good as you do it. The first time is your thousand time. So if you can just keep doing it, you're going to get better. And so I just take it in that I'm not going to be perfect. I'm going to cringe when I watch the video and I'm just going to go do it.

I give you credit, though, for watching the video.

Yeah.

I. I don't think I can do that.

Well, think about this. The football teams, the professional football players, they watch game film.

Yeah.

They watch what they made mistakes. So they can get better.

Yeah.

How are you gonna get better if you don't watch yourself?

I think I've just decided that I'm just won't because the thought of watching myself speak from stage feels like punishment or bullying.

No, it's. It's like, okay, and you can frame it two different ways. You can frame it as that or you can frame it as what's one or two things I can tweak to get better.

Yeah.

And if you look at like Tom Brady or Peyton Manning, they're always going, how can I advance? Was that one thing. I can do a little bit better next time to land that joke. And hey, those guys can do it. I can do it.

I still can't, but I am very proud of you. Very proud of you.

Thank you.

What is it now? That you are speaking on the most. And like, do you have your signature talk, your keynote?

Yeah. Sales titans built, not born is. Is my signature one I am being asked to do Mastering Influence, which is the leader's edge. And I'm being asked by. I actually got called by an organization called wic, Women Infants and Children. And I said, okay, Women Infants and Children. I'm not female. Okay.

I don't have an infant. I have an 18 year old and a 13 year old. But why did it resonate with you guys that I should come talk? Because I don't think I was like feeling that I was there for that. Right. I would think you would want a woman that's empowered and done all that stuff.

WIC is the one that they provide like financial support for for Women, Infants and children.

Right. And so they said your message and your videos have actually resonated with us. And so I was like, you know what, it's not who I usually target, but I'll go and help and add value and we'll see if that helps them and. And grows them.

That's really interesting.

Yeah.

Is have you done that before where you've gone and spoken to an audience that you weren't really, I don't want to say, not prepared for because I'm sure you're going to prepare for this as best as you're able. But have you gone to speak in front of an audience that isn't your norm?

Yeah, I've had financial planners come talk to me and I'm like, if you've seen my bank records, you would not hire me. But the topic is there and that specific thing is what they need and so that resonates with them. And hey, I've been able to help them. It's not who I target. But. But I will see and I will have interview calls with people and you know, just make sure that I'm a decent fit.

Yeah.

But if I think somebody else would be better, I've actually referred a few of my friends and said, no, no, no, you should actually go talk to this person. And they've actually gotten the gig.

Yeah.

So, you know, to me, and that's the other thing about sales is you can try to say you are the best at everything, but you're not. And if you guide a customer and say, you know what, I can do this. Okay, but you're actually going to be. And that's one of the big things I talk about is how do you make them a hero of their story in sales? And I go I think this person's going to be better or my competitor actually has a better offering for you in this segment for that thing. And I've had people go and buy that, but they'll still buy from me long term and come back to me because of the fact I've done that.

I feel like that's a really great strategy for building trust.

Yeah, well, you need that. I mean, why, why lie to people and say you're going to be good and then you epically fail? You think they're going to hire you back or listen to you or tell any of the people that they know? No. Word of mouth marketing is the best marketing still.

It is. Now, have you ever had the experience of you recommended someone, they hired them and they didn't do well?

I have not because I'll vet my friends that speak and I have trust in those people. So if I'm going to, if I'm going to give a reference, it's not because they paid me $50 or gave me a gift card. It's because I know they're really good.

Good. I feel like that's, that's another fear is if I'm going to put my, my name behind this person, they now represent me.

Correct.

And that can be really difficult to navigate. Especially we want to elevate our friends. We want to like bring them with us and everything. But they have to be able to take on that role.

Yes.

And yeah, it's definitely good that you haven't had to deal with that.

Yes. I mean, it's just, it's people dealing with people. How would you want to be, you know, worked with and how would you want someone to help you? I am not having my sister come out and do a motivational speech ever. But if somebody needed hard truth, she's the person to go to. And you know, and everybody knows different people that they would recommend for certain things and they're just not going to willy nilly. But, you know, if we help enough people get what they want, will come back to us. Right. And that's, you know, I forget who was it Les Brown or one of those great speakers.

That's what they said. And I said, you know what? That's what I want to live by.

I think it was my great grandfather, he had a saying that was when you lay your breads upon the waters, they come back to you in sandwiches.

Yeah.

Which is a bizarre saying. And I do not think it's real, but I always think of it and I, it's that just that idea that if you give, if you give, more will come back to you. And, and I'm glad that you're able to be an, a embodiment of that.

Thank you.

And what you've been doing.

And let's just put it out there. I love sandwiches.

Who doesn't?

You don't have a body like this without having sandwich love.

So I, I was built by tacos.

Yeah. You know, let's not get into the food topic because I will go on for hours.

We don't need, we don't need drool on the microphone.

No, Fat Kevin will come out. It'll be a party. We'll.

Yeah, I love it. And now jumping a little bit back to that, speaking in front of your non typical audience, do you have any tips and tricks for tailoring your content to really connect with that audience?

Yep. Yeah. So when I do the call with the people who want to hire me, I make it mandatory that we have a follow up call at least three, maybe six months out. And I want to talk to people who are going to be there. What are your pain points? And we go through it. I had six people on for WIC because I wanted to really make sure I understood them right. And I said, what are your pain points? And everybody said, well, mine's different. Mine's different.

Okay, well let's, let's lay them out there. And a lot of them are actually similar because they're all in the same category and they're all about people. But I want to make sure that I understand them. You're going to do your research, but having those calls where you have all those other people that are going to be there in attendance and ask them questions so you can put your best foot forward, it's going to set you up for success.

It's amazing how many times the answer is just ask. I, I get asked all the time. How do I know what my audience wants? And I'm like, it's the most simple answers. Ask them.

Yes.

And yet it's overlooked.

Yeah. Assumption. You know how the, the whole thing about assumption. Right?

Yeah.

We won't go there.

It's a clean show, guys.

Yes.

But keep it clean. Y' all can fill out the blanks now. This has been really great advice and I love everything you have to say. How can people find out more about you? You're speaking your brand, everything that you're doing.

Yep. You can find [email protected] and I have a YouTube channel where I put out videos. So there's tons of videos in there that have just one takeaway, just so you can go in there and go, okay, this I can use. I can use this. And they're not very long. I don't want to be that boring guy. But don't look at what's two years ago. Let's go with the fresh ones.

Look at the old ones.

Yeah. No, no. In fact, I used to have blooper reels in there just to show people how bad it was. It looked like Jim Carrey in some of his movies. It was great.

Oh, we. We still put out blooper reels.

Oh, do you?

If we have an episode that just, like, goes sideways, and we'll take it out of the episode, but we will release it almost like a trailer to the episode.

Really?

Oh, my God, yes.

Do you get a lot more hits on that?

Oh, of course. It's the best.

Oh, my God. Okay, I'm doing this part. I'm doing it. Thank you. Thank you for that.

Yes. Go release your bloopers.

Oh, I am now.

We're all human. We all make mistakes.

Oh, yeah.

And if you're lucky enough to catch it on camera, the world deserves to see it.

Oh, they will. They will now.

I love it. And I cannot wait to see those bloopers, and I cannot wait for y' all to hear this next episode. So hit that subscribe button and come back every week for more conversations with speakers about their first stage talk next time.