Ditch the Pitch Slap: Why It Fails and What to Do Instead

Larry Roberts [00:00:09]:

What is happening, everybody? I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:00:12]:

And I'm Sara Lohse. And this is Branded, your comprehensive guide to creative branding.

Larry Roberts [00:00:16]:

And on this violent episode of the podcast, we're gonna talk about slapping.

Sara Lohse [00:00:25]:

Pitch slapping.

Larry Roberts [00:00:26]:

Pitch slapping, yes. Not slap slapping. Of course we're not gonna get violent here on the show, but we could.

Sara Lohse [00:00:31]:

Yeah, we can't really reach.

Larry Roberts [00:00:33]:

Yeah, thankfully. Thankfully. Cause Sarah's very aggressive. So I gotta. I like to.

Sara Lohse [00:00:38]:

I'm small, but I'm scrappy.

Larry Roberts [00:00:40]:

I like this long distance relationship that we got going here. This is. Works, but keeps me safe. But anyways, no, we're talking about, like Sarah said, man. We're talking about pitch slapping. And what the heck is a pitch slap anyway?

Sara Lohse [00:00:53]:

Sarah, have you ever been pitch laughed? I feel like I just got pitch slapped, like a few days ago. Pitch slapped is when you go to talk to somebody and it's just like, I'm just gonna have a conversation with this person. Maybe we'll talk about what they do. And it's just out the gate. They just hit you with that hard sales pitch.

Larry Roberts [00:01:13]:

And that is what we call a pitch slap.

Sara Lohse [00:01:16]:

It is terrible.

Larry Roberts [00:01:18]:

It's so uncomfortable, it feels so aggressive, and it feels so violent when it, when it happens. I mean, you're going to these networking, I mean, we go to a lot of networking events and, and I belong to, I think, three, four different networking organizations and, and sometimes it feels a little overwhelming to go to all these networking organizations. But, man, the worst bit. And here, I'm not going to mention the name, but I went to one just last week and it was a five and a half hour ordeal. And right out the gate, I had to be there early because it's my first time to ever go to this organization. And what do they do? They sit down right out the gate. I mean, I haven't even, I haven't been involved. I haven't seen one meeting.

Larry Roberts [00:02:03]:

I haven't really met any people. They take you, they sequester you to this one little table, and everybody that's their first time, they sit you down. Now, I will say, these people, they, they know how to feed you. It was an amazing breakfast buffet, so at least I had a plate of grub in front of me. But they sit you down and honestly, it's not even in a private room, it's out in the middle of the floor. So everybody else is networking, and you, the new people, are over here getting pitch slapped right out the gate. Join our organization because of this. This, this.

Sara Lohse [00:02:32]:

I mean, I guess if you're going to pitch slap me. Like, give me food at least. Like, that should be like, the minimum is like, I will listen to the pitch. It's like when you go to those stupid, like, timeshare meetings, it's like, we know we're going to pitch slap you, so we're going to be like, you'll get free hotel credits or something. Yeah, give me something.

Larry Roberts [00:02:54]:

What is it, the life insurance ones you always get in the mail? Free steak dinner. Come have a free steak dinner. And they pitch slap you the whole time. But, you know, at least you probably get some good grub out of the deal. But, you know, on the flip side, even though they did pitch slap me and that, that instantly turned me off. And I knew going in that I was going to get pitch slapped. So that kind of took the edge off a little bit. But in all honesty, afterwards, after I got involved and actually went through the meeting and got to meet people and see how they run their show, honestly, I was blown away.

Larry Roberts [00:03:25]:

But it was, I probably shouldn't even say this out loud because you may listen to our podcast, but, I mean, I backed out of the first one because I did not want to get pitch slapped. I'm like, I know they're going to. I know it. They're going to slap me. And I don't want to hear that on a Saturday morning at 07:30 a.m. yeah, I just told what meeting I went to, so. But the bottom line is I still love the meeting after the fact. But I was very tentative to go because I knew the slap was incoming.

Sara Lohse [00:03:52]:

I feel like the one that everyone can relate to. The MLM girlies, if you've ever gotten a DM from someone you went to high school with, saying, like, hey, girl, what have you been doing? We need to catch up. They are about to pitch slap the hell out of you. Trying to sell you, like, Avon cosmetics or essential oils or some other nonsense scheme, and they're not subtle about it. They think they're being subtle. They're not being subtle. They're just like, do you want to make six figures and working at home? Because sell this nonsense that nobody wants. I'm sorry.

Sara Lohse [00:04:31]:

I really hit mlms.

Larry Roberts [00:04:32]:

Yeah, you definitely don't like that one.

Sara Lohse [00:04:34]:

So I hate mlms.

Larry Roberts [00:04:36]:

Well, and you definitely hate mlms. I have learned that over the last couple of years. Do not pitch Sarah on an MLM. But I mean, the problem with, with these, these pitch slaps is what happens. I mean, you instantly go on the defensive, you instantly negate any even remote opportunity to establish credibility or build a relationship right out the gate.

Sara Lohse [00:04:58]:

So what do we do instead? Like, if you're a pitch slapper, like we're talking to you.

Larry Roberts [00:05:05]:

Check yourself, check your LinkedIn. If you're sending cold DM's on LinkedIn, you might be a pitch slapper.

Sara Lohse [00:05:12]:

Oh, my goodness. You might be a redneck. Okay, what, what do we do instead? How do we actually go about this in a way that is not confrontational, that's not violent? Yeah, that's actually might lead to some kind of conversion conversation, relationship, something.

Larry Roberts [00:05:29]:

Well, I think you just nailed it right there with the r word. I mean, that's one r word that we can say, relationship. So that's what you wanted. That's what you want to do right out the gate is you want to establish a relationship. Hold that pitch, man. Just hold it in and genuinely have an interest in the individual that you're meeting at these events.

Sara Lohse [00:05:57]:

I think that's one thing that people don't understand. It's like if you think about if someone came up to you on the street and just started trying to sell you something, you're not going to buy from them. You're going to walk away. It's like the people at the mall kiosks who try to shove lotion in your face. No, leave me alone. But if you do focus on building that relationship, you build that trust, and then you don't even have to hit with this hard sales pitch because they're like, oh, I know this person. I trust this person. And I know that when I have a need for whatever they do, they're the one that I'm going to reach out to.

Larry Roberts [00:06:31]:

Yeah, 100%. And that kind of goes along with when you do start to establish this relationship, you're leading with value. You're not leading with, hey, buy my stuff, but you're actually building that relationship and you're leading with the value of even having that relationship in the first place.

Sara Lohse [00:06:51]:

Yeah, the value is important because I'm not going to buy anything from you if I've gotten nothing from you. Like, I need to know that you know what you're doing. I need you to tell me some of the, like, secrets that you know that so that I know that you know more than me or I know that you know more than the other person I know that does this. Give me those inside secrets? Give me those, like, this is how I do this.

Larry Roberts [00:07:16]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:07:17]:

And I think people have this idea that if they tell people how they do what they do, they're not going to be able to sell anything because, oh, well, now they know how to do it, but it doesn't mean they're going to do it.

Larry Roberts [00:07:29]:

There's a whole lot of difference between knowing how or what to do and executing, and that's where we come in and we try to figure out exactly where they're at so that we know what they know and we can help them execute what they need to do. But the only way we can do that is if we're asking the right questions. We have to, again, engage in conversation and build that relationship. And the only way you're going to do that is by asking the right questions. So what kind of questions do you need to ask to find out where your potential relationship or buyer may be?

Sara Lohse [00:08:07]:

Yeah, I think the questions that you ask, they have to be questions that bring open up a conversation about the pain points and not in a way that is almost slapping them in the face again. I've had conversations where someone's, like, a business consultant or something, they come up to me just, so how much revenue are you bringing in a year, and how different is it from your goals? And I'm like, hi, my name is Sarah. Like, what? Who are you? Why? Like, that's a really, like, probing question. It's very inappropriate. It's. It's just like going straight into a conversation, asking, like, finance questions, asking any question that you can't learn from, like, their website. Yeah, like, you don't start with that. And if you're going to ask a more personal question, ask it that is actually personal.

Sara Lohse [00:09:03]:

Like, what? Why are you passionate about what you do? Like, how did you get into doing, like, the career you're in, the industry that you're in? Ask personal questions because it makes it less, like, I've always hated the term b two B, because business to business doesn't make sense to me because businesses are run by people, and you have to change the conversation to be one of, like, this is my business talking to your business to. This is me talking to you.

Larry Roberts [00:09:32]:

I mean, that completely makes sense. And also what happens there, since we're talking people to people, and once you start learning what those pain points are and once you start learning what their needs are, it gives you an opportunity to start framing a response with stories, with case studies, and, I mean, we hear so much these days about the power and the art of storytelling and how storytelling is absolutely critical. I don't know. There's this one little chick down in Austin. I can't remember her name, but she knows a little bit about storytelling. I think she wrote a book called open this book, as a matter of fact. And guess what? That's about storytelling. It's about storytelling.

Larry Roberts [00:10:10]:

And why is storytelling so important?

Sara Lohse [00:10:13]:

Sarah storytelling is basically just the root of all human connection. And back, way back in the day, before we had modern languages, before we had anything, we had cave paintings. We had, like, the oracles around the fire telling the stories of the generations. We had all of these things that before we had, like, people think of storytelling, they think of, like, novels and books, but it's really just sharing experiences. And when you're talking to somebody in a business environment, you're talking to them from a networking standpoint, and you're not able to tell a story that they relate to. You're not going to connect with them. You can't just go in with a sales pitch without making it clear that you understand what this person is going through, what they're struggling with, what they're trying to overcome. And when you're able to tell stories, even if it's not something that you've personally dealt with, but you've helped clients with it, you've helped other people with it, you have products or services that can get them past that.

Sara Lohse [00:11:20]:

You can tell stories that are, like you said, case studies. You could tell stories that are more in that professional space. It doesn't have to be your childhood sob story. But going in with, like, oh, I totally get what you're. Why are you laughing at me?

Larry Roberts [00:11:34]:

Because you just hit a nerve. You said it doesn't have to be your childhood trauma story or whatever, man, because as of late, that's been driving me insane.

Sara Lohse [00:11:42]:

Yeah.

Larry Roberts [00:11:42]:

Everybody I hear, everybody I meet, everybody that I watched and speak that wants to be a professional speaker to grow their brand. I mean, I'm a judge for speaking competitions, and every. Every contestant, and every time someone has an opportunity to give a speech, it's all about trauma. No one wants to hear your trauma story. Dial it back. Do something positive. Everybody's had trauma, okay? I promise. Everybody looking at this podcast, everybody watching this podcast, everybody listens.

Larry Roberts [00:12:12]:

We've all had trauma. We've all probably have the exact same story or something very, very similar. We've all been there.

Sara Lohse [00:12:17]:

Yeah.

Larry Roberts [00:12:18]:

Give us something that's uplifting. Give us something that shows the brand value of being in a relationship with you. Give us something that we can that sparks curiosity, you know, that makes us want to ask you questions and build a relationship back and forth, man. Save the trauma for your mama. We just don't need it here, man.

Sara Lohse [00:12:38]:

People think that your story has to be traumatic, dramatic, or sensational. And they think that because of the 24/7 news cycle that we live in, where we're always being hit with headlines, and they're all these massive, newsworthy stories. They shook the world. Everyone has to know about this. But those aren't relatable. That's not what we need to hear. And exactly what you said, like, you want to spark curiosity when you tell your trauma story from your childhood. Nobody wants to ask follow up questions.

Larry Roberts [00:13:10]:

No, no. Nobody wants to ask anything. They just go, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Sara Lohse [00:13:14]:

I'm so sorry. That must have been so hard for you. Oh, I'm getting a phone call. I gotta run.

Larry Roberts [00:13:18]:

Oh, yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:13:19]:

No one asks follow up questions about, like, your parent dying of cancer when you were six. Like, we don't. We don't want to pry into that. That is uncomfortable.

Larry Roberts [00:13:31]:

It's super uncomfortable. And again, it's just tedious. Everybody has the story. Okay, it may be a little bit different. Maybe your parents didn't pass away from cancer when you were six. Maybe some other tragic thing happened. But guess what? The tragedy strikes everybody. And it doesn't build relationships.

Larry Roberts [00:13:46]:

It builds pity, not empathy.

Sara Lohse [00:13:49]:

And something too with that.

Larry Roberts [00:13:52]:

I got off on a tangent. I'm so sorry.

Sara Lohse [00:13:55]:

No, we're here, we're here. We're doing this. Emotion is very important with building connections because it creates that empathy, it creates that feeling that they know what you've gone through. They've been through it themselves. But I don't think people really understand that there is a massive spectrum of human emotions and sad is only one of them. You don't have to make people sad in order to, like, bring up emotions. Joy is an emotion. Stress is an emotion.

Sara Lohse [00:14:31]:

There's so many emotions when, like, if you tell a professional story about something that you went through in your career and you're able to, like, portray the anxiety and the stress that you went through, because that was a really tough work problem you have to solve, they're going to feel that stress. That's an emotion. Technically, probably not an emotion, but you know what I mean.

Larry Roberts [00:14:52]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:14:53]:

Think it's like a neural reflex. I don't know. I've got it.

Larry Roberts [00:14:57]:

You're smarter than I am in that arena.

Sara Lohse [00:14:58]:

I don't know, but. But you can make them feel your anxiety. You can make them feel joy. And joy is going to be a lot more of a bond than sadness because you don't want to just be trauma bonded to everyone in your network. Like, I'm not thinking of you when I'm, when I need someone to, like, write my website, but I'm thinking about you when I see a dead puppy on the side of the road because yours died when you were six. Like, I don't. That's not what you're trying to do here.

Larry Roberts [00:15:27]:

Yeah. You want to tie positive emotions and positive experiences back to the positivity of your brand. So keep that in mind when you're networking. Don't try to bond on trauma, bond on joy, bond on positivity, bond on the benefits and the features that you bring to the table. They're going to make your potential clients appreciate your relationship and have a desire and a curiosity to learn more about your brand and your business.

Sara Lohse [00:15:54]:

Something that I've noticed. So getting back to the whole pitch slapping and not doing that, getting back on track. I've been going to a lot of these events and some of them are general networking, some of them are the b two B networking. So, and just to clarify with b two B networking, it's generally this idea that you are meeting other people who can connect you to your ideal client. It's not, I'm going to this event to try to sell my services to the people at the event. It's this person probably knows people in x industry. I'm going to go meet them, form a relationship with them, and when they meet the person that I'm looking for, they'll introduce me. So that's really what we mean with b two B.

Sara Lohse [00:16:36]:

But what I've noticed is if I mention what I do and someone is interested in it and is like, oh wait, that services I'm looking for, they will invite me to pitch them. Basically they'll say like, oh, tell me more about that. Like, how do you do it? What exactly is it that you do? I've been looking for something like this, or people have been asking me about this. If you don't come in, just come in hot with that. Can I do this for you? Here's, here, you need this. And you just spark that curiosity. You get them to ask those follow up questions. Hi, Opie.

Larry Roberts [00:17:15]:

Hello, Opie.

Sara Lohse [00:17:16]:

If anyone is just listening to audio only, I'm so sorry, because you're missing a puppy. So go to YouTube. But if you really do just lead with what you do and in a unique way, position it in a way that is unique to you and it's really interesting. They're going to ask more questions. They're going to invite you to basically pitch them. And once you're invited to do it, it is not uncomfortable anymore. It's not pushy, it's not violent. You're not slapping them with it.

Sara Lohse [00:17:44]:

You're there opening that conversation, they're opening.

Larry Roberts [00:17:46]:

That door for you 100%. And I mean, I think all of this shows that the timing of your approach is what matters, right? I mean, timing is everything in all aspects of relationship building. I mean, if you go in for that kiss on the first date and you hadn't had that eye contact and you know the timing's done, you're not going to get that kiss, you're not going to get that second date either. So timing is absolutely critical across the board. So there's something that I've noticed as of late, because of all the networking organizations that I go to, the sales cycle is rather lengthy at times, you know, and if you have those relationships, if you have those referral partners, if you have those collaboration partners, that has a tendency to shorten that sales cycle. You know, I've probably been networking hardcore for a couple of years now, and I'm just starting to see the return on the investment with some of these organizations. And that demonstrates why it takes so much time to build that, what relationship. And now I'm getting referrals.

Larry Roberts [00:18:47]:

Now there's collaboration partners out there and the timing has made it everything because I've gained their trust. They've decided that they kind of like me. They like me enough to do business. So that's kind of cool. But that's, that's the key factor there is that timing.

Sara Lohse [00:19:01]:

Yeah. And when you focus on building those relationship, relationships with people who can be those referral partners for you, we talk about this a lot with podcasting and sponsorships. Like, if you're going to let someone sponsor your podcast, you're basically endorsing them. That's the same thing with referrals. If I'm referring someone to you, I am endorsing them. I am telling you that I trust this person. I trust what they do. They're good at what they do, and I would do business with them, and I think you should, too.

Sara Lohse [00:19:34]:

So if I've built up a relationship with somebody to the point that they trust me, they're going to trust the people that I refer them to, they're going to trust me saying, hey, I know you're looking for this. This person does it, this person is great. And that's going to shorten that cycle because they don't have to go through as many steps of vetting you and figuring out, like, do I trust this person? Do I like what they do? All of that. It skips a bunch of steps because somebody's already saying, like, hey, you trust me, and I'm telling you, you can trust this person.

Larry Roberts [00:20:09]:

Yeah, we covered a lot of topics today, and I think they all go together in helping us build stronger relationships, especially in a networking environment. And I say especially in a networking environment. But if you take some of these same tips and apply them to your daily life and the relationships you with that you have in your daily life, I think you're going to see some improvements there as well. A lot of it boils down to, don't pitch up somebody. Build a relationship first, have in depth, sincere conversations, build those relationships, establish that trust, and over time, it's going to open up those opportunities for you to make those sales, whether it's with the individual you just met or a referral from them or a collaboration partner or any other opportunity that presents itself.

Sara Lohse [00:20:51]:

I feel like I need to add, like, if you're going to be a picture, you need to read the room.

Larry Roberts [00:20:57]:

Moo. Yeah, yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:20:58]:

Oh, my God. I. This. So I was just pitch lapped. A few days ago, I had a call with someone that I had met years ago at an event, and she had changed industries or changed positions, and we wanted to catch up and find out more about what she's been doing, what I've been doing. And I was really excited, like, yes, it's gonna be a great conversation. Can't wait to hear what she's got going on. But she brought someone else from her company onto the call, and all he did was pitch me.

Sara Lohse [00:21:24]:

And despite saying, like, it was in the finance space, I have many connections in the finance space. I work with financial advising firms, if anything is related to financial services for myself. Got it covered.

Larry Roberts [00:21:39]:

I got.

Sara Lohse [00:21:39]:

I've got people. And it was just pitch, pitch, pitch, and just so if this is going to happen, do you have this? I'm like, probably I. I do this, too. Like, this was my, that was my profession. I were good and just would not stop. Didn't even have the conversation with the person I was on the call to have to be talked to.

Larry Roberts [00:22:03]:

They just tagged out, boy.

Sara Lohse [00:22:05]:

It was just pitch, pitch, pitch. And I'm sitting there like my eyes are glazing over. Do I look like I'm interested? I'm trying to not be rude, but I. This was not a sales call. Yeah, this was a conversation call. This was a networking call. This was a, like, I'm interested in what you're focusing on now, and maybe there's opportunities for referrals later. Not you need life insurance because of this.

Sara Lohse [00:22:29]:

It's like, I don't, but thank you. Why is this happening? Oh, my God. I'm still annoyed.

Larry Roberts [00:22:36]:

Well, if you need life insurance, be sure you subscribe to this podcast, and.

Sara Lohse [00:22:40]:

You won't get it, but you'll get a great podcast.

Larry Roberts [00:22:44]:

No, I mean, that is that right there is a tragic story, and it happens way too often. So if you're listening to this podcast or if you're watching this podcast, don't be one of those statistics that gets on calls, tags out, and lets your partner pitch whoever you're talking to to death. So avoid that at all costs. Always just avoid the pitch time. Just get out there, build your brand, build relationships, and continue to grow in your niche, in your industry and be one of the leaders there by doing this again, exact same thing by building relationships. So with that, I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:23:17]:

I'm Sara Lohse, and we'll talk to you next week.