Happiness Revolution: Building a Brand Based on Good Moods with Matt O’Neill

Larry Roberts [00:00:09]:

What is happening, everybody? I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:00:11]:

And I'm Sara Lohse. And this is Branded. Your comprehensive guide to creative branding.

Larry Roberts [00:00:16]:

And on this very happy episode of the podcast, we've got a friend of mine that I've known for. I don't know, we'll. We'll tag it at about 5 years. Helped him launch his podcast way back in the day, and we've just stayed in touch and continued to be friends and had the pleasure of, I think, no meeting him for the second time this January at podfest. So that was. That was really amazing meeting him in. In real life. Anyways, my friend here, his name is Matt O'Neill, and he is a happiness coach whose work has positively impacted the lives of over 100,000 people.

Larry Roberts [00:00:47]:

He's the author of Good Mood Revolution, Igniting the Power of Conscious Happiness. It's the number one bestseller in seven different categories on Amazon with over 100 five star reviews. He's also the host of the podcast that I just mentioned by the name of Good Mood Revolution. Highly recommend you check that out, where he delivers strategies to grow our happiness skills. Each and every week, Matt shows us how our path to the most positive emotions is through the negative ones, which is very, very interesting. Understanding this, you'll see how happiness is your choice, even when life gets tough. And with that, Matt, welcome to Brandon.

Matt O'Neill [00:01:23]:

What's up, my homies? Man, it's been so long. All right, so this is really fun because I get to be a testimonial for how awesome you guys are branding. You literally just helped me with my brand two days ago, and you've been helping me with my brand for the last month. I probably made 20 changes to my podcast because of the coaching and counseling you guys have given me, and it got way better. So thank you guys for that.

Larry Roberts [00:01:52]:

Dude, that is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that. We really appreciate it. In all honesty, you just saved me because for the past probably two, three days, Sara's like, hey, dude, reach out to Matt and see if he'll give us a video testimonial about.

Matt O'Neill [00:02:08]:

No, I made.

Larry Roberts [00:02:08]:

I made.

Sara Lohse [00:02:09]:

Prompted.

Matt O'Neill [00:02:10]:

I made every single change that you. That you two suggested. And because they were all. They were all right. Right. They were all, you guys know your stuff. You know about branding, and you're. You're such experts that PodFest had you speak, like, 105 times on their 200 speaking slots.

Larry Roberts [00:02:28]:

It's only 104, but you're close. Yeah, yeah. Don't oversell it.

Matt O'Neill [00:02:33]:

Yeah.

Larry Roberts [00:02:34]:

So that's so cool, man.

Matt O'Neill [00:02:35]:

So I. Yeah. So when I launched the podcast, you were the first guy I met at a conference. I went to go bundance.

Larry Roberts [00:02:41]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:02:42]:

And the red hat, you know, but I didn't know the red hat was a thing. I just thought that day you were wearing a red hat and that was part of your brand. And you're like, man, you gotta have something that you stand for that people can recognize you with. And I didn't have a brand at that time. I had this idea that I wanted to teach the world how to be happier. I've always been a really optimistic, positive person. That's been like a vibe that's rubbed off on a lot of people. But I wanted to teach it.

Matt O'Neill [00:03:08]:

How could I teach it? And I got together with you and we created the Good Mood Show. And it was like sunshine and like happiness and. And then, you know, it's been three years now since that. That podcast launched. It's evolved because as I've been working one on one with people, I've realized that you can't just talk about the positive emotions. You really have to help them deal with the negative ones. And so that's kind of what. That's the work I do now.

Larry Roberts [00:03:35]:

Yeah. And I love the fact that you. You updated the name to Good Mood Revolution. I. I think that's. That's what it has to be. You know, know, with so much negativity in society these days, we have to go through a revolution to start finding that happiness again. It seems like, you know, decades ago, we had some happiness.

Larry Roberts [00:03:53]:

I don't know if it was just perceived happiness or genuine happiness, but these days, happiness is a little harder to find.

Matt O'Neill [00:03:58]:

It seems like we did. So we were happier. And all the studies show that we were happier before smartphones.

Larry Roberts [00:04:06]:

Interesting.

Matt O'Neill [00:04:07]:

And this is. I mean, there's a ton of science on it.

Larry Roberts [00:04:10]:

It.

Matt O'Neill [00:04:11]:

What. So remember what. Before fast food? I don't know. Like, I was born and there's fast food that was around. McDonald's was around when I was a kid in the 80s. But before fast food, you just had real food.

Larry Roberts [00:04:23]:

Yeah, we didn't live on it when I was a kid. I mean, you know, I was. I was. I grew up in the 80s, late 70s, early 80s. And we didn't have. We would hit Mickey D's from time to time, but it was a treat. You know, it wasn't every day. You know, I think the last three days in a row that I think of right now, I think I had Taco Bell, I had Chick Fil.

Larry Roberts [00:04:41]:

A and I think I had leftover Chick Fil A for the last three days.

Matt O'Neill [00:04:45]:

And Chick Fil A is amazing, right? We can't really call that fast food because it's so delicious. We have Chick Fil A once a week. All right, well, what happened is, is that fast food became a thing. And it's nutrient dense, packed with, you know, everything's fried, so it tastes good. Our taste buds are like looking for these nutrient dense meals because back in the day, before this time, we had to go hunt and kill things. And our bodies craved that extra fat because it's what kept us alive. Well, then fast food comes along, and now we're at a point that 70%, 7 out of 10 people in America are overweight or obese. And the number is projected to be over 80% by 2030.

Matt O'Neill [00:05:29]:

And that's just a trend. So you make really unhealthy food easily available. And we humans, we go to easy. Same thing happened. So this is social media now. Before social media, we had to pick up the phone and call somebody if we wanted a connection. Texting wasn't a thing. So you actually had to call them.

Matt O'Neill [00:05:52]:

And then you're like, well, let's actually, if I want to see your face, because we couldn't FaceTime, I've got to plan a time and get together with you. And so growing up in the 80s, my mom had card night and she played cards with her friends. We had a phone on the wall that had a cord attached to it. And I would be like talking on the cord, trying to like sit down, you know, stretch that cord so I could get comfortable while I'm having a conversation. It was a long ass chord.

Larry Roberts [00:06:16]:

Yep.

Matt O'Neill [00:06:16]:

And then, but then I would just meet up with my buddies. I just get on my bike and go to their house and we would play like wiffle ball or whatever we would do. Now kids aren't doing that anymore because we have fast food for relationships. And it's social media. Instead of picking up the phone and talking, which takes effort because they might not pick up, we'll text, okay. And then they'll text back, okay. Way more convenient. People even say, don't call me, text me.

Matt O'Neill [00:06:41]:

I don't actually want a relationship. I just want it to be easy and fast. That's what I communicate. Because it takes so much energy to get together with people on a Friday night. We don't do card club anymore. We're not playing the poker game. We're not hanging out with our friends. Let me just put on whatever movie I can find on Netflix, whatever series I can binge on Netflix.

Matt O'Neill [00:07:03]:

And then I'll at the same time scroll through what all my friends are doing on social media and I'll pretend like I have real world connections. And that's what's happened. We've become unhealthy from relationships because it's easier and more convenient to have fake social relationships. So we're unhealthier physically and we're unhealthier in our happy happiness and mentally and emotionally because of these two convenience things that have. That have come about in the last 50 years.

Larry Roberts [00:07:31]:

Well, Matt, I gotta tell you, I was looking forward to having you on the show, but, yeah, feeling really personally attacked.

Matt O'Neill [00:07:38]:

Personally attacked?

Larry Roberts [00:07:39]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:07:41]:

Personally victimized by this episode already.

Larry Roberts [00:07:44]:

For real. Just last night I was sitting here in this room and I'm like, what am I gonna do tonight? So I found a new series on HBO or AT Max or whatever you want to call it.

Matt O'Neill [00:07:53]:

What is it?

Larry Roberts [00:07:53]:

And it's called White Lotus.

Matt O'Neill [00:07:55]:

Oh, yeah, I've heard of that.

Larry Roberts [00:07:57]:

Yeah, it's like in its third season. And Walton Goggins, I think, joins in season two and he's one of my favorite actors. So I'm like, ah, let me, let me see if I can make it through this and see what's up. But I was doing that exact same thing. Dude. I was sitting there, White Lotus was on. I was kind of watching it. But I'm sitting here on my phone, I'm going in between X and Tick Tock and Facebook and LinkedIn, just looking to see what's going on in my social circle while watching this show, this series.

Sara Lohse [00:08:24]:

I get so proud of myself when I look away from my little screen to pay attention to my big screen. Oh my God, that feels like a.

Matt O'Neill [00:08:30]:

Win for me, Sara. So do you remember, do you remember growing up TGI Friday? And like, it was an event to watch the TV because it wasn't recorded, it wasn't pre recorded. So the whole family had it on the calendar, circled in the TV Guide and we would make the popcorn and.

Sara Lohse [00:08:48]:

Like, oh, I thought you meant the restaurant.

Matt O'Neill [00:08:50]:

We would sit, we would sit down and watch this show because if you missed it, if you weren't there Friday night at 8:00, you. You missed it. And it's not playing again. Like, you missed it. So TV became like a social thing where the whole family would get together. And now, because it's all on demand, it's not. And we can just do whatever and we're losing all this human connection. So there's some.

Matt O'Neill [00:09:15]:

What can we do about it? Well, the first thing is we just need to know. We need to know what's unhealthy for us. And then we gotta. Then we gotta make some changes so our happiness will come back when we have real relationships and they take actual effort. So you 2 going to podfest? Took a ton of effort for you guys to go. Took a lot of effort for me to fly there. And then it took effort for us to get together and hang out and have conversations, but, like, we're building a real relationship doing that, and the effort is worth it. I've got a mantra this year, and it is I live the yes man lifestyle.

Matt O'Neill [00:09:47]:

Remember that movie yes man from Jim Carrey?

Larry Roberts [00:09:50]:

Yep.

Matt O'Neill [00:09:51]:

So I get a text today. My buddy is coming in town. He's like, dude, Dan Martell is going to be in Charleston tomorrow night. My wife and I are coming into town. We're going to watch it. Would you guys go out to dinner with me? Well, I live a yes man lifestyle, so we've got cheerleading practice and I've got a podcast that I'm supposed to be on at the same time. And I go to my wife and I'm like, hey. And she's like, you know, we're doing this heart walk at 8am in the morning, and then Kelly's got a birthday party at 11, then we've got a funeral at noon, and then we're playing pickleball with our friends at 2 on Saturday.

Matt O'Neill [00:10:26]:

And I said yes. I said yes to all those things. I also want us to say yes to going out to see Dan Martell and going to dinner tomorrow night. And she's like, all right, let's do it. So that's. That's. The next two days is going to. Going to see a speaker, going to dinner, doing a heart walk because somebody asked me to donate to their charity and, like, walk, walk with them.

Matt O'Neill [00:10:51]:

We're gonna walk with their family. And then, you know, somebody I know, they lost somebody that. That they love, and I'm gonna go to that funeral, like, face to face. And then another couple said, would you play pickleball? And. And I said yes to it. So am I going to be a little bit tired? Sure.

Sara Lohse [00:11:06]:

But I'm tired for you.

Matt O'Neill [00:11:07]:

We will sleep when we're dead. That's my point.

Larry Roberts [00:11:11]:

And that's one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies is Roadhouse. You know, Sam. What's his name? Sam. Not Sam Jackson. Oh, my God. One of the best actors ever. What's his name, typically Western. He's the voice of Dodge.

Sara Lohse [00:11:26]:

Oh, I see his face.

Larry Roberts [00:11:28]:

Yeah, yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:11:28]:

It's not like, weird mustache.

Larry Roberts [00:11:30]:

Yeah. Anyways, yeah, he goes, you know. You know, kid, I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead. Because Dalton was. He was real tired. It was like 3am and they were at the. The last bar of the night, and he's like, man, I gotta turn in. I gotta get some sleep.

Larry Roberts [00:11:40]:

He's like, no, kid, I'm good. I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead. So that's always resonated with me. So I. I love the fact that you're saying that. I'm not saying I live it, but it definitely resonates.

Matt O'Neill [00:11:50]:

Well, if we could just take just Sam Elliot.

Larry Roberts [00:11:53]:

There you go.

Matt O'Neill [00:11:54]:

We just take just a little bit of this. Just a little bit. Like, you don't have to overbook the way that I've just overbooked the next two days. But go watch the movie. Yes, Man. You know, if you're listening to this episode, if you're watching us, go watch the old Jim Carrey movie, yes, Man. And it was before social media, but the movie starts out and Jim had been broken up with by his girlfriend, and his girlfriend was getting married to somebody else, and it. It crushed him, and he didn't want to hang out with anyone.

Matt O'Neill [00:12:23]:

And he's in a blockbuster, renting a movie to go watch it by himself because he's just shut himself off in the world and he doesn't do anything with people anymore. And Bradley Cooper is calling him and saying, hey, will you come out and grab a beer with us tonight? I'm getting married. You know, this is my bachelor party. And he's like, oh, man, I wish I could. I'm overbooked. And Bradley Cooper's looking through the blockbuster window right at Jim Carrey picking out a movie as he's telling him he doesn't have time. And he, you know, he totally calls him on. He's like, what are you doing, man? And so he goes to, like, a Tony Robbins type event, and the dude brainwashes him and says, you can't say no.

Matt O'Neill [00:13:03]:

You have to say yes. And he's. He, like, actually thinks that he's brainwashed and he can only say yes. And the movie's hilarious, but what ends up happening is his whole life, it becomes amazing because all these things he says yes to, he starts to build all these beautiful relationships. He takes guitar playing class. He takes Check out the City by Roller skate. Class and like all these people start to make his life beautiful. And that's why I love that movie.

Matt O'Neill [00:13:29]:

And that's the way I want to live this year.

Larry Roberts [00:13:32]:

That's amazing. And I love the correlation you have there. I don't know that I'm prepared to be a yes man just yet, but. But, but it might not hurt. It might not hurt because it's, it's funny, you know, and I, I may have mentioned. But I'm going through a little hard transition right now. And I've essentially done the same thing. You know, I'm.

Larry Roberts [00:13:51]:

I'm renting this mother in law suite at a friend's house and they are yes people and they blow my mind. I mean, they're very inspiring, but they say yes to everything. He says yes to her, she says yes to him. It's the most amazing relationship that you've ever seen. It's insane. And. But I sit up here in this room. Or there's actually two rooms.

Larry Roberts [00:14:13]:

But. But I sit up here in this room. I, I haven't left the house on the weekends. I haven't. I'm. I'm actually leaving right after this to go to a luncheon to make an appearance. So I am getting out today.

Matt O'Neill [00:14:24]:

Look at you, Larry.

Larry Roberts [00:14:25]:

But yeah, I'm doing the same thing. So. But it's interesting.

Sara Lohse [00:14:29]:

And you even said card club. Like I have been inviting him for weeks.

Larry Roberts [00:14:33]:

Oh, yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:14:34]:

You come out to Austin and stay with me because there is a card game that I'm obsessed with that he and I played for. It's Unstable Unicorns. I think we played for six hours straight on Thanksgiving. And I have been like, you need to come over and play unicorns.

Matt O'Neill [00:14:50]:

I've gotta, I've gotta get that game Unstable Unicorns. Yeah. And like board.

Sara Lohse [00:14:54]:

I brought it to PodFest and we played it in the lobby.

Matt O'Neill [00:14:56]:

Board games and card games are so fun. Like, it's so fun. And it. But, but again, we just go for this convenience. So that's one of the. So human connection and real relationships are one of the cornerstones of happiness. And we were happier in the 80s and we were happier in the 90s. And, and we can get it back.

Matt O'Neill [00:15:16]:

We can all, we can all reclaim it. What's interesting though, I bought a table for eight to the Make a wish wish night.

Larry Roberts [00:15:25]:

Okay.

Matt O'Neill [00:15:26]:

And it's a, it's a really awesome. It's a really beautiful charity event. It's, you know, black tie. Everyone gets dressed up, you meet the kids. I've. I freaking love Make a Wish. I Just love seeing kids get their dreams come true. And I, I offered tickets for the other six seats, so I just needed three other couples to go with me.

Matt O'Neill [00:15:46]:

I offered it to 15 different friends and they all were like, oh, busy that night. Oh, wish we could. You know, the kids, they got this going on and I'm like, maybe some of them did. But my thought is 15.

Larry Roberts [00:16:02]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:16:02]:

Is it, Is it? The majority of them did not. It was like. And the tickets are expensive. They're like $400 a seat. So it's 800 for a couple. I'm just offering these tickets to people to go to, like this five star event. It's really a big event.

Larry Roberts [00:16:17]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:16:18]:

And, and, and I'm just watching the way that the world is now. It's like, we would rather say no.

Larry Roberts [00:16:24]:

It's easier to say no. I mean, there's, there's no commitment there, you know, and if you think about it. Well, at least. And I, I think this is a huge part of why I'm in the position that I'm in right now is because it's so much easier to just say no. It's so much easier to just stay home. It's so much easier to go, oh, my God, I don't want to deal with that. It's so much easier to not put on a tux and drive to wherever the event is and then sit in traffic trying to get back home. So it's so much easier to look at it that way.

Matt O'Neill [00:16:52]:

As soon as you get done with the event or as soon as you start to get into it, you're like, I'm so glad I took the energy.

Larry Roberts [00:16:59]:

You know, and that's, that's so true because, you know, we were talking, I don't know if we'd hit record yet, but you know, my veganism here. You know, back in the day when I would train, I dreaded going to the gym, even though it was all I did. But if I was at home, I tried to never go home, because if I was at home, I didn't want to leave. But as soon as I can remember sitting there on the couch watching Sex in the City, going, I don't want to go train tonight. I can visually see this right now. But I got my backside off the couch and I got to the gym and it was amazing, you know, and it was an amazing time, and I enjoyed every minute of it, and it was just great.

Matt O'Neill [00:17:32]:

Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy that the, the happiest things require energy?

Sara Lohse [00:17:37]:

But devil's Advocate real quick. I am like 10 times happier when something has book online option so I don't have to call something because calling is hard.

Matt O'Neill [00:17:50]:

I'm not gonna deny I'll still go.

Sara Lohse [00:17:51]:

To the thing, but I want to book it online.

Matt O'Neill [00:17:53]:

Okay, So I just got angry. I told you before I came on the show. Yeah, and, and I got angry and, and I could feel the anger welling up. And then I was rude and I'm.

Larry Roberts [00:18:05]:

Like, you, I don't buy any of this.

Matt O'Neill [00:18:08]:

I was rude. So I went, I, I don't have a suit anymore because why? Who wears a suit? And my wife is like, hey, you need to wear a suit to this event. You can't do that. Your old khaki pants and the sport coat that you've been doing to this event. Everyone's, they look so nice. You actually need a suit. And I'm like, I'm like, where do you buy a suit? I don't even know where to buy a suit. I end up.

Matt O'Neill [00:18:33]:

She googles a place, there's a place downtown. And I took my 7 year old daughter with me to go suit shopping, which ended up being so cute. And so this is another thing, you know, you can build relationships as you run errands. And so she comes with me and she picks out this suit with me. And then we went and got ice cream and the two of us sat and we just chit chatted. What? You know, the things you say to a seven year old, which is just the most fun conversations and. But the suit needs to be tailored. It doesn't quite fit off the rack.

Matt O'Neill [00:19:02]:

So I go to the alteration shop and they, they're like, great, okay, it'll be ready in, in like a couple of days. They text me, they said, your suit's ready. And I'm like, okay, well I've got 20 minutes to get from my house to the alteration shop to make sure I'm on time for Larry and Sara because they're big time VIP people and I will not be late to you guys. Pull in the alteration shop. And I'm like, okay, great. I'm here to pick up my suit. She pulls it out, she says, that's great. Okay, it's going to be like $75.

Matt O'Neill [00:19:31]:

And I pull out my credit card and she said, oh no, we don't take. Didn't you see the door? Only cash. And I'm like, that exists still. She said, or you can write me a check. I'm like, I'm like, who has a checkbook? I don't even know how to write a check.

Larry Roberts [00:19:48]:

Yeah, I don't either.

Sara Lohse [00:19:50]:

Gold the blooms.

Matt O'Neill [00:19:51]:

Who has cash? Like a lot of people don't even have a wallet. I'm like, what about Apple Pay cash or check? And I'm like, oh man. Okay. I have to get this suit because we got the event and I got to be on time. So I just walked out. I didn't even say what I was doing. I did. I was, I was angry that I had this expectation I was going to make it all work and get the suit and be on time.

Matt O'Neill [00:20:20]:

And you know, I've got other things going on today. You heard about my tomorrow and my Saturday. Like things are booked. I don't have a whole lot of wiggle room to like figure out how to get cash for these people. And I just walked out, didn't say bye. And I could. I'm like, I'm angry. I'm angry that they have a policy that is, that is so old.

Matt O'Neill [00:20:42]:

It asinine at this point. And so I drive across the street, there's a bank across the street. I get the atm, I pull in and I put the money down and I don't say anything. I was so rude. She's like, oh, thank you. Hope you have a nice day. And I walked out without saying bye.

Sara Lohse [00:21:00]:

I love how that is your version of rude. When all I can think is Larry going full whataburger in a drive through lane. Which is what we now have to say. When Larry, like, I think they used to call like going postal or whatever. We, we said going full whataburger because he like flips out people in whataburger drive throughs.

Larry Roberts [00:21:17]:

This guy, he deserved every minute of it. I didn't, it was, it was not good. But yeah, Matt, my, my level of being rude and angry was a little bit different. It almost.

Sara Lohse [00:21:26]:

I didn't say thank you.

Matt O'Neill [00:21:27]:

Yeah, I didn't say thank you.

Sara Lohse [00:21:32]:

And wrote them an email apologizing for that.

Matt O'Neill [00:21:34]:

I'm sure I will. I'm sure I will. I'm gonna feel so bad about the way way I treated them. Yeah. And it, and look, it was on their door. The door, on the door it said casher check. It's, it's like, I'm like, dude, just raise your price by one and a half percent and take a credit card fee.

Larry Roberts [00:21:50]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:21:50]:

Like, or, or just say, hey, there's a ten dollar fee for taking credit card Venmo. Apple. Pay anything that humans use now and I'll gladly pay the tax that you.

Larry Roberts [00:22:01]:

Want humans use they could.

Matt O'Neill [00:22:03]:

They could create this into a profit center. Because I would have just. They. They could have said, it's a $25 charge if you use a credit card. I've been like, great. Like, yeah, it's a 50%. Like, they're missing an opportunity. Instead, they're angering their customers.

Matt O'Neill [00:22:20]:

But, yeah. All right, so let's talk about anger. Anger shows up when our expectations aren't met. And I had this expectation that I would walk in, pick up my suit, pay for it like a normal person, and then walk out. And then they were like, you can't do that. And so because I couldn't do what I expected to do, I was angry. This is always why we're angry sometimes.

Sara Lohse [00:22:43]:

Can you please stand outside of that business with a clipboard and just survey people coming out and see how many people were also angry about it?

Matt O'Neill [00:22:51]:

If you're, like, a repeat data. If you're a repeat customer, I'm sure you know which. I am a repeat customer, but I had forgotten. Right. And it's still pissing me off.

Sara Lohse [00:23:05]:

This episode. Explicit. He is so angry right now.

Larry Roberts [00:23:07]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:23:09]:

All right, so. So let. Let's talk about, like, about why this isn't a good thing.

Larry Roberts [00:23:15]:

Yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:23:16]:

And I'm sit. I'm standing there at the counter knowing I'm angry, knowing I'm not happy because you can't be angry and happy at the same time. And also that this anger is serving me not at all. Like, it's giving me no benefit. If I could have. If I could have gotten. Not gotten angry or gotten out of that anger in a heartbeat, I could have been kind. And if I had been kind to her, I would have been happy.

Matt O'Neill [00:23:41]:

Instead, I was rude to her and didn't say anything and walked out. And then I'm kind of unhappy about it. And I'm like, I don't want this to hang out with me. So I got to figure this out. I got to clear this anger out. But it's just a choice. It's just a choice to be upset about it or it's a choice to accept it. This is the happiness blueprint I always talk with people about.

Matt O'Neill [00:23:59]:

Doesn't matter how big it is. It doesn't matter if it's a divorce or if it's, you know, lost your job or like, somebody stole from you. Whatever your expectation was that it shouldn't have happened. The first move is you have to move to full acceptance. That can take some time. It took longer than the five minutes for me to get the cash. I Wasn't fully accepting that this was their policy. Once we get to acceptance, we're like, I can't change it.

Matt O'Neill [00:24:24]:

It is what it is. I'm not going to try to change it. I'm not going to argue about it. I'm just going to accept it the way it is. Then if we want to be happy, we need to be grateful for it. So how could I be grateful for their policy that they don't take check or cash? I'm just asking. I'm going to lob this at you guys. What do you think are some ways we could be grateful about that?

Larry Roberts [00:24:45]:

Well, I mean, I'm. I'm trying to figure out how to be. I mean, you know, it's interesting because in. In my current situation, I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have this very nice place to, to reside for the next who knows how long. But at the same time, I'm not grateful that I have to go through this. I'm not grateful that my background isn't perfect like it used to be. I'm not grateful that the lighting in this room makes it look like a cathedral. There's so many things I can list that I'm not GR before.

Larry Roberts [00:25:17]:

But at the same time, I'm also grateful that the couple downstairs, man, they can. She can cook, bro. She makes amazing food. So I'm super grateful for that. You know, I'm grateful that they have two amazing kids that are super, super cool that I've become friends with. You know, I'm grateful that it's in a beautiful freaking neighborhood. I mean, this is a nicer neighborhood than my crib was in, in all honesty. I mean, so there's all these things to be grateful for.

Larry Roberts [00:25:42]:

But it's so difficult to look at gratitude when you're going through difficult situations. When you go, why can't it just be the same?

Sara Lohse [00:25:49]:

My brain went completely different. My brain went to. It was $75. ATMs give you 20s. So then there was going to be an additional $5. And anytime I have cash, because it's very rare for me, because I live in 2025, I spend it on scratchy lotteries. So that is $5 that you could spend on scratch offs and maybe win another dollar.

Matt O'Neill [00:26:13]:

We could have won 25, who knows?

Larry Roberts [00:26:15]:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt O'Neill [00:26:16]:

Well, well, let's go. Let's go to. So, yeah, I could be grateful that I got. I got some change and now I actually have some cash. I could go spend it, right? But I want to. I want to play with the situation Larry's talking about. And so Larry, the first step is full acceptance. And the, the, the, the thoughts that, hey, the background isn't as, as great as it was.

Matt O'Neill [00:26:41]:

And like, wishing things kind of were the way they were, we're not quite at full acceptance.

Larry Roberts [00:26:47]:

Oh, no, there's, there's no denying that.

Matt O'Neill [00:26:49]:

Yeah, we can't, we can't get to. We. So. But, but like, the great thing is, is that there you will eventually get to full acceptance, because that's eventually. And they say time heals all wounds. I think that's bs. It's like, I choose how much time it takes me to fully accept something. So just sometimes after two years, somebody finally fully accepts it because they're like, two years has gone by, it's not changing, it's not going back.

Matt O'Neill [00:27:17]:

And time eventually gets them to acceptance. But if we want to be happy sooner, then we just work on full acceptance. Like, this is not changing, it's not going back. It will never be the way that it was. I fully accept exactly what my reality is right now. And once we can fully get to that and not resist it and not wish it was different or not wonder why or not, like, say, oh, man, this person, I can't believe they did that. Or, I can't believe they said that. As soon as we just stop all that, every time that stuff comes up, be like, no, I don't want to play that anymore.

Matt O'Neill [00:27:48]:

I just want to accept what is right now because I want to be happy. Then we can move to the gratitude and really mean it. And you're right. You've got these awesome kids there. You got this awesome family that's inspiring you. You live in this beautiful neighborhood. You got these, like, these relationships right now with these kids and these people that are with you, they would have never been formed.

Larry Roberts [00:28:08]:

No, you're right. And this, I mean, I knew this person. I knew this lady, but I didn't know her at this level. I didn't know her at this scale. You know, it just, it just happened. And it's evolved so much. I mean, I've been here, I don't know, three months maybe, something like that. Because I went down and stayed with Sara for a week and everything I know is in Dallas.

Larry Roberts [00:28:27]:

So I had to get back to Dallas. You know, Sara was welcoming me into her home, but of course, transitioning down to an entirely new city lady just was. Wasn't really feasible for me at the time. And I happened to ask Karen, that's her name, and I said, hey, if you know Anybody back home in Dallas. She happened to just randomly call me, actually, and invited me to a birthday party for a mutual friend.

Matt O'Neill [00:28:48]:

It wasn't random.

Larry Roberts [00:28:50]:

Yeah, it was. I guess not. And I said, well, if I'm back in Dallas by then, I'd love to go. You know, he's a great guy, blah, blah, blah. And I said. Then I told her the story. And then I go, if, you know anybody back home that has a room for rent, let me know, because I. I need to get back up there ASAP.

Larry Roberts [00:29:04]:

And we hung up. And I don't know, 20 minutes later, she calls back. She goes, I talked to Jason. That's her husband, and we have a room. If you want to come here and stay, that's cool. We'd love to have you. And I was like, what the heck? Again, I didn't. It was insane, because I didn't really know we're on that level.

Larry Roberts [00:29:21]:

You know what I mean?

Matt O'Neill [00:29:22]:

But, yeah, it's crazy the way God works, man. And, like. And that's something to be grateful for, too, is, like, this recognition. I'm always looked out for, I'm always cared for. Even when I think I'm not being looked out for. Like, that can be such a blissful realization that there's the universe, God, whatever you. Whatever force you want to think that is out there. Something is always looking out for you.

Matt O'Neill [00:29:47]:

And then we could be grateful that it's there. The other thing we could be grateful for is the lessons we learn. So one of the things I talk about at the second half of my book is that absolutely every experience is happening for our benefit, and there's not a single one, even the hard ones, that aren't happening to help us grow. Usually we grow the most in the hardest scenarios, when everything's going great and we're comfortable, we don't change, we don't grow. We stay stagnant. When something comes in, a crisis comes in, and we start to suffer, eventually we're like, I don't want to suffer. So how can I learn from this? How can I become a better version of myself from this? Now, of course, we could go the other way. We could go into addiction and just spiral.

Matt O'Neill [00:30:36]:

But if we don't do that, we step up and we become a more compassionate, more loving, more caring, really, like a cooler version of ourselves than we used to be. And then we get to be grateful for that. And eventually we move from gratitude to. To love. And this is how we're. Our happiness is completely equal to the amount that we love. It's the amount that we love everything in our life. So when the lady at the counter was like, we don't take credit cards, I didn't love that.

Matt O'Neill [00:31:09]:

And I had zero happiness. But if I had just been, like, in this blissful, loving state, and I see this beautiful woman behind the counter saying, oh, sweetie, we don't, you know, we could take a check or cash, but we don't take credit cards. And if I had been in like a blissful state, I could have just been totally loving her and loving that she doesn't take credit cards and loving the opportunity to go get some cash and then maybe having the $5 to go buy scratch off tickets and just having extra fun. So our happiness is completely equal to the amount that we love all the circumstances in our life. And this is why I say that even challenges can make us happier, because eventually we can say, I love that that challenge happened. I would never take it back because I became a better version.

Sara Lohse [00:31:52]:

I feel like this is two recordings in a row where Larry is getting, like, free therapy. I'm here for it. I'm not gonna lie.

Larry Roberts [00:31:59]:

Hey, hey. Just. Just be glad that I'm in a good mood today because in all honesty, Matt, if you went back and looked at our most recent episodes, you, bro, you can tell I'm kicking rocks. I look two thirds dead. My beard's all gray. I mean, it's just. And my energy was super low. But today we've had two good recordings back to back.

Larry Roberts [00:32:17]:

It's we, we. I'm seeing an evolution in my accept. Acceptance. I'm having a hard time saying it. Acceptance, bro.

Matt O'Neill [00:32:28]:

Bro, man, I. I love you. And I'm so happy. I'm so happy that I get to be on this with you guys today.

Larry Roberts [00:32:35]:

Well, we appreciate it, man. Matt, before we wrap it up, tell people where they can find you, man.

Matt O'Neill [00:32:40]:

The best place is to go check out the Good Mood Revolution podcast. You know, listening to your great podcast and if anyone wants to just get a dose of happiness every week, Good Mood Revolution Podcast drops on Mondays.

Larry Roberts [00:32:53]:

That's awesome. That's awesome. I think everybody needs a little more happiness. Even the folks downstairs that they're happy all the time. It makes me nauseous. But even they could probably use a little extra dose of happiness from time to time. So, folks, if you want to find some happiness, check out Matt's podcast. And at the same time, go ahead and hit that subscribe button for the branded podcast so we can continue to bring you these insightful and very.

Larry Roberts [00:33:16]:

I don't know, happy episodes each and every week with that. I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:33:20]:

I'm Sara Lohse, and we'll talk to you next week.