Introvert-Friendly Tips for Expanding Your Network

Larry Roberts [00:00:08]:

What is happening, everybody? I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:00:11]:

And I'm Sara Lohse. And this is Branded, Your comprehensive guide to creative branding.

Larry Roberts [00:00:16]:

And on this episode of the podcast, we're going to be talking about something that most people would not refer to me as, and that is being an introvert.

Sara Lohse [00:00:26]:

You and I are kind of weird in that people seem to think that we are very extroverted, but secretly we both know that we're not. And being in the industry that we're in, being in the podcasting space, it seems like really, like, difficult to do that as an introvert. But there's so many ways that you can make it something that's at least somewhat comfortable for you, even if you're not really a extrovert.

Larry Roberts [00:00:58]:

Well, I mean, in the podcast space, it's, it's kind of easy just because you're, you can literally just get behind a microphone and tell your story and share your message and build your brand. But I think it gets a little more difficult when you're in these public settings. You know, we both, we've talked about it before. We're both big conference attendees, depending on the conference, and you get out there and people start to recognize you and start to recognize your brand, and a lot of times it can be a little overwhelming.

Sara Lohse [00:01:28]:

Yeah, A lot of people who don't, who aren't in the podcast industry, when they find out I'm a podcaster, they'll say, wow, you must be really extroverted. You must really love, like, talking to people. Did they not realize that I'm just talking to you? Like, this is. Technically speaking, we are each alone in our own little studios having a conversation one on one, the way that we would regardless. And when you have that ability to just pre record things and really have that control over what goes out, because we can edit things that we say. We, we do like to leave in bloopers sometimes, but we do edit out things that make us sound too dumb. But it's really like, it's not as public as people seem to think.

Larry Roberts [00:02:15]:

No. And it's funny, you know, I can even remember when I first started podcasting. I didn't like coming into my studio in the house and recording. Other people in the house could hear me. And I was even embarrassed at, you know, they're probably in there making fun of me, talking about me doing my little podcast thing. Oh, how cute is that? So I had that paranoia that set in and it, it took a long time to overcome that. You know, introverts, they have businesses too, and they have brands, too. And a lot of the questions come up, how do you put yourself out there and expose yourself so blatantly to the public when you're really such an introverted type person?

Sara Lohse [00:02:53]:

Yeah, I'm. I still have trouble doing solo anything. Like, even though I know nobody can see me sitting at my computer just talking to a camera, I feel so uncomfortable. Like someone in my home that nobody lives here, someone is judging me, I'm judging myself. I can't do it. Whether it's like, content creation or just thought leadership in general, there's so many ways that you can do it in a way that's more comfortable. Like, just based on who you are and what your comfort level is. And for someone that really doesn't want to just talk in general, start with blogging.

Sara Lohse [00:03:31]:

Like, blogging and writing and publishing is such a one. Like, so it's a solo project, really.

Larry Roberts [00:03:38]:

Right, right. And actually, you're starting to see some changes on a variety of different social media platforms out there where writing is taking precedence over images. You know, the still images, they're not quite as effective, at least not for organic growth as they once were. I mean, I've been listening to other marketers and other podcasts. Go figure. And that's what I've been hearing, especially over the last few weeks to a month or so, is that when you start writing and you include a couple, three paragraphs with the images that you put on Instagram or any other platform as well, the writing is what's making all the difference with that organic reach.

Sara Lohse [00:04:16]:

Yeah, and I think there's, like, also a misconception with what it means to be an introvert. Being an introvert doesn't mean you just don't want to talk, you don't want to see people. It's just a matter of, like, how your energy is depleted or replaced. So for me, if I go to a conference and I'm surrounded by people, my energy drains so quickly, and to get it back, I need to spend some time by myself. It's not that as an introvert, you don't want to share your thoughts, you don't want to share your ideas. It's just you might want to do it in a way that's a little more subtle. So writing is a really great way to do that. And starting a blog, or if you want to write ebooks or actually publish a book, like, those are things that you can do on your own in a way that does not deplete that energy and still can have a really, really great Reach and share those thoughts and those ideas.

Larry Roberts [00:05:12]:

You know, I'm the same way, you know, at the conferences, I. There has, there's days where I have to go, nope, I gotta go. And I escape back to my hotel room for an hour or so and have to recharge and have to kind of take that break away from all that extroverted activity that I force myself at times to go through. I mean, I enjoy it. It's not like I'm like, oh, this is such a pain. And I don't like being out there talking to people. I do enjoy that. But it's, it's definitely something that I have to be cognizant of and I have to put a lot of energy into doing just that.

Larry Roberts [00:05:44]:

And I, you know, it's like when I'm at home, I very rarely speak. When I'm at home, I'm very rarely out of headphones. When I'm at home, I'm typically glued to my monitor or here in the studio, to my big monitor here. And I'm in my own little shell. I'm in my own little safety zone. And it's where I feel the most secure and it's where I feel the most. And I even hate to say this word, but it's where I feel the most safe. It, but it just is, it's, you know, it's, it's where I go to recharge and it's how I continue to be able to put forth the energy in these other, like networking situations and conference situations and podcast situations and content creation situations, I have to draw that back in and, and take that time out from time to time.

Larry Roberts [00:06:31]:

And I, I love writing. I don't do enough of it and I'd kind of lost confidence in the, the power of writing. But I, I'm starting to see more and more and with all these tools that we have out now that can help us write or give us inspiration to write ChatGPT, there's opportunities to, to leverage some assistance there to really help get our message out. And we're starting to see that once again, be more and more effective.

Sara Lohse [00:06:57]:

When I was at fincon a couple weeks ago, there was a woman walking around with this shirt that said emotional support extrovert, because she was there with her husband and he was really introverted. And I'm just like, can I hire you? Can I, can I just bring you around with me so that you can field all of the conversations and I can just be like, I'm here, I'm in attendance, I'VE done my job. I showed up just like, that was like the most amazing shirt I've ever seen. And I need her in my life.

Larry Roberts [00:07:27]:

That's too funny. Well, I mean that's, you know, that's one of the struggles that you have as an, as an introvert is that you have a difficult time navigating those large social situations. You know, we talk about authenticity all the time, but as an introvert, we typically question if our authentic selves are going to be accepted. So we tend to lean into putting on these facades that we think everyone is going to be more accepting of. And, and that puts a ton of strain. Whether it's physical or emotional strain. It's very difficult for us to, to have those situations and to have somebody there with that T shirt. It seems like that had been a.

Larry Roberts [00:08:05]:

I probably would have went and got a hug or something.

Sara Lohse [00:08:08]:

Oh, I, I was checking in on her just like, hi, just give me a little energy boost. Anytime I saw her. That was just genius T shirt. But I really like when it comes to networking, like that's, I feel like is probably the most difficult piece of personal branding when you're, when you're an introvert. I think that is why some of those, like Facebook groups can be really, really great. Because it's a lot easier to network behind a screen than it is in person sometimes. Or even like the smaller events that can be really great. I know we've talked a lot about the different conferences that we go to and there's events like podfest that are thousands of people and over like four or five days.

Sara Lohse [00:08:56]:

And that's a lot. I leave those events and I need to take like a three day coma to really like recover. But then there's events like outlier. And outlier is 100 to 150 people, if that, and it's a couple times a year. And those ones. It's almost like an introvert's dream.

Larry Roberts [00:09:19]:

Yeah, I just love outlier. And events like outlier because they are small, they're a little more intimate and they give you that opportunity as an introvert to not only get out there and put your name out there and put your face out there and put your brand out there, but it allows you to do it in a fairly secure environment, in an environment of just a handful of people that feels more like a, I don't know, like a family gathering more so than a massive conference. And it gives you that opportunity to kind of dip your toes in the water just a little bit, kind of get a Feel for what it's like out there, building that personal brand.

Sara Lohse [00:09:52]:

Yeah. And I think one of the things with introverts is because we don't thrive on, like, talking to so many people, we actually are better at forming those closer, more genuine connections because we kind of, like zero in on just a couple of people instead of having to be like, okay, I need everyone here to know me and love me and talk to me. So it can actually be better or easier to network as an introvert when you do focus on the smaller events. And think of it really as, like, quality over quantity. You don't need 500 new contacts when you leave these events. But if you've had 10 people that you feel like you've genuinely connected with, you can bounce ideas off of each other and really continue that relationship moving forward. I think you're going to get so much value out of just those few people that it doesn't matter that you didn't talk to everyone there. You've still gotten something out of the event.

Sara Lohse [00:10:52]:

And you did it in a way that stayed within your comfort zone, but also did branch out a little bit. You did still show up. And sometimes showing up is the hardest part.

Larry Roberts [00:11:02]:

Yeah, 100%. I mean, that's always the hardest part. You know, being the old school karate guy that I am. The hardest belt to get wasn't a black belt, it's your white belt. It's taking that first step and putting on that very first belt and actually just starting. And if you're an introvert, starting could be one of these smaller events. It could be a local networking event. You know, we do talk about podcasting a lot because that's the foundation of what we do.

Larry Roberts [00:11:29]:

But there are local podcasting networks all across the country, and typically, if you go to these network meetings, you're going to see anywhere from. I mean, I've seen as few as. As five or six people show up to them, but I've seen as many as 30, 35, 40 people show up to them as well. If I'm speaking, Of course, it's 40, 50 people, but sometimes others don't. Yeah, they just don't draw the same crowd, but it's fine. But it's a perfect opportunity, seriously, for you to start really balancing that deluge of information and deluge of interaction. Because if you go to a big podfest event, which is amazing, don't get me wrong, but you do. You have that opportunity to get overwhelmed because you've got content, you've got people coming at you from every direction.

Larry Roberts [00:12:12]:

And if you're an introvert, it can be very, very difficult to balance all of that content, all of these introductions, all of these new relationships. So as an introvert, we have to figure out a way to balance that. And taking one little step at a time is a great way to start.

Sara Lohse [00:12:28]:

I think we also underestimate, like, how many people at these events feel the same way that we do.

Larry Roberts [00:12:36]:

100%.

Sara Lohse [00:12:38]:

We think, like, oh, everyone goes to these events. They must, like, thrive off of crowds and really love having all, like, no, they're struggling as much as we are. The amount of people I've spoken to at these conferences that have said, oh, I have to go hide in my room at least twice a day. And I'm just like, oh, my God, me too. Like, it's so, so common, and it's okay. Like, that's why, like, I will splurge and spend the extra couple hundred bucks to stay at the conference hotel instead of getting a cheaper one down the road, just so that I have access to that room, so that I have a safe space that I can go hide in, whether I just need, like, five minutes or an hour or a nap. Sometimes it's a nap, but it's often a nap.

Larry Roberts [00:13:24]:

It's often a nap, but I.

Sara Lohse [00:13:27]:

Like, I'm starting to realize that I'm not the only one. So many people that I talk to tell me the exact same thing.

Larry Roberts [00:13:34]:

Yeah, I mean, I literally just flew home from a conference yesterday morning, and I was only there a day, but there were still multiple times that I went back to my room just to regroup and refocus. And, you know, one of the times that I went, I was laying there thinking, man, I'm glad this hotel isn't a Gaylord, because the Gaylord properties, if you've ever been to a Gaylord hotel, they're all over the country. They are massive. And you don't really have that opportunity to leave the event and just trot over to your room for a little bit. It's an excursion to go from your room to an event if it's at a Gaylord property.

Sara Lohse [00:14:10]:

My first ever Gaylord experience was podcast movement in Nashville.

Larry Roberts [00:14:15]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:14:15]:

And that one, it. There's a. There's, like, a river with a boat that runs through it like, it is a jungle. I got so lost every day, to the point that one time I actually called my dad in a panic because I was lost, and he's like, why don't you just turn your GPS on? I'm like, you don't Understand, I'm indoors. Like, I am in a hotel and I cannot find my room.

Larry Roberts [00:14:38]:

Yeah, the Nashville. The Nashville Gaylord is freaking. Probably the largest one. I don't know if it's.

Sara Lohse [00:14:44]:

I think it's one of the biggest.

Larry Roberts [00:14:45]:

But it's got to be one of the biggest because I've been, you know, I'm just down the street from the one here in Dallas. I live 10 minutes from the property. I've been to the one in Nashville. I've been to the one in Colorado. I think those are the three Gaylord properties I've been to. And the Colorado seems the smallest, but then probably Dallas. But Nashville is just massive. You literally can get lost.

Larry Roberts [00:15:05]:

And as an introvert, that can be very, very intimidating. So I think one of the things you need to do is understand, you know, if you are going to an event, where can you go to find that. That time alone? Where can you go to find that recharge space? Because that's absolutely critical.

Sara Lohse [00:15:20]:

Yeah, I think I. I'm a Marriott Bonvoy Elite member at this point. Go me. They. They do, like, let you to give special requests, and a lot of times it's like, close to the elevator or something. I'm going to start putting, like, close to the conference center.

Larry Roberts [00:15:35]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:15:36]:

Like, do not put me on the opposite wing. I don't want to do it. Like, I'm going to. Either that or I'm going to buy Heelys so I can just, like, roll around.

Larry Roberts [00:15:45]:

Oh, is that those roller skate.

Sara Lohse [00:15:46]:

Roller skate ones with the. The wheel and the heel that I've never known how to use. I'm going to learn at 28 and injure myself a lot, but whatever gets me to my.

Larry Roberts [00:15:59]:

I'm not going to learn at my age. I'm just going to hang in there and I'll still hook it. But it's funny you even bring that up, because I do remember specifically when we went to Nashville for podcast movement, I say we. You were there, I was there, but we didn't know each other. You say we knew each other, but I still.

Sara Lohse [00:16:12]:

I don't believe I knew you.

Larry Roberts [00:16:16]:

But I remember when I found my room, they gave me my room, and I went. And I'm like, this is literally the very opposite end of everywhere I'm gonna be. I literally turned right around, took my suitcase, walked back down to the desk. I said, no, this isn't gonna work. I wasn't an elite member at the time either. I just. You have got to hook me up. I cannot walk this far every Day.

Larry Roberts [00:16:35]:

This is insane. So anyways, we kind of got off base a little bit. But, you know, it's fun to share some personal stories and, and just give you some examples of exactly how we really do struggle.

Sara Lohse [00:16:46]:

Yeah.

Larry Roberts [00:16:46]:

Being introverted in a very extroverted marketplace.

Sara Lohse [00:16:51]:

Jumping back a little bit to those you. You had mentioned, those, like, smaller, just like local events.

Larry Roberts [00:16:58]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:16:59]:

You don't have to go to those alone. Like, invite a friend to go with you, even if they're not in your industry. Just have them be your emotional support person. Like, have them go with you until you've gone to a few there a lot of times, like, I. I'll just go on eventbrite and search networking and it'll give me all these different events. And a lot of times there's ones that happen every single week or every other week or once a month, and it's a lot of the same people. So if you bring along a friend with you for the first one, two, three times that you go, eventually you're going to start to get to know other people and you won't need to have your friend with you. They're still welcome to go.

Sara Lohse [00:17:37]:

But you'll start to make friends at these events because you see the same people. So ease into it. Bring someone with you. I know, for me, the worst part is walking into a place by myself. I hate doing that. And I'll like, it stopped me from going to some of these events because I just, like, I know I won't know anybody and I'll have to walk in by myself. Just have a friend go with you. Like, it's okay.

Sara Lohse [00:18:01]:

No one's going to say, like, oh, my God, they don't work in this industry. Get them out of here.

Larry Roberts [00:18:05]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:18:05]:

No one cares. They're just happy someone showed up.

Larry Roberts [00:18:08]:

Yeah. And I see that all the time at these events because I typically go to the ones here in Dallas and make sure that I, I try to go as often as possible, but you see that a lot of times people show up and go, and typically they're podcasting networking events and I ask them about their podcast and, oh, they don't have a podcast. They're just my friend. They just came with me because it's my first time. I literally see that happen in real life all of the time. So it's a. It's a great opportunity to, to put yourself out there and, and really start making a mark in. In different arenas.

Sara Lohse [00:18:37]:

Yeah. In real life, though, what do you like when that happens? Are you like, oh, that's Weird.

Larry Roberts [00:18:42]:

No. You think? Nobody thinks anything of it. They go, oh, okay, great. Great to meet you. Great for coming out. It's great to meet you.

Sara Lohse [00:18:48]:

Exactly. Don't. Don't be afraid to invite people, even if they don't fit into the industry. Just bring a friend to make you feel more comfortable. It's okay. Nobody cares.

Larry Roberts [00:18:57]:

Yeah, nobody cares. You think they do? I promise. You think, oh, yeah, I promise. They don't. They're just happy that you're there.

Sara Lohse [00:19:02]:

Yes, exactly. Like someone. Someone needs to say it, because I'm mostly talking to myself right now. Because I have to remind myself that I can walk into a Chipotle by myself and order food and nobody is judging me. It's okay. So if I can barely do that. Networking events are very difficult.

Larry Roberts [00:19:18]:

I'll tell you right now, it doesn't matter where I'm walking into. I always think someone's judging me. They probably don't even know that I'm there. But in my head, everybody's looking, everybody's whispering, oh, yeah, everybody's talking about me. Everybody's saying, oh, look at that dork over there. Everybody. No matter. I don't even go to the gym.

Larry Roberts [00:19:33]:

I've never. This is. Here, I'll put this out here as this is how introverted I am. You know, again, back in the 20s, 30s, I thought I was the toughest guy walking around, Karate guy, blah, blah, blah. But I would not go to an actual gym. I go to any karate school or any martial arts gym, and I'd step on the mats, but I wouldn't go to a weightlifting gym unless I had a personal trainer that would meet me before the gym opened. I used to have a trainer, and I'd meet him at 6am before the gym even opened back in the day. And that's when I would work out because I did not want to.

Larry Roberts [00:20:09]:

And still to this day, I won't go to a gym and work out in front of people. I just won't do it. It's just something that I can't make myself do.

Sara Lohse [00:20:16]:

It's funny. I had this conversation just the other day with someone because I have a friend that goes to the same gym and we're planning on, like, going together one day.

Larry Roberts [00:20:23]:

Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:20:24]:

And I'm like, so do you have, like, a workout plan? Or does your social anxiety just make you choose whatever equipment is not currently being used? And that is your plan because, like, I will never be like, okay, hey, can I get that machine next? Or no, I'm like, this one's Open. This is what we're doing today. All right. I thought it was leg day. It's arm day. Oh, well, leg day is. Leg day is taken. No, I'm.

Sara Lohse [00:20:48]:

It's. It's rough myself, because I have such social anxiety.

Larry Roberts [00:20:52]:

I used to work at gyms. I worked at three different gyms at one time. I worked at the gym. I taught cardio kickboxing. Back in the day, I had every gym in Grayson county under my name. I would go from gym to gym and teach. Teach aerobics and teach cardio kickboxing, but I would not step on the floor and do any kind of weightlifting.

Sara Lohse [00:21:10]:

Okay. Next time I see you, you are teaching me an aerobics class that is. Well, it was non negotiable.

Larry Roberts [00:21:14]:

It was aerobics, but it was. It was, you know, Taebo or, you know, kick, cardio, kickbox.

Sara Lohse [00:21:18]:

Non negotiable. I also, I. I just mentioned this Al in a show that I guessed it on. It'll be out next week. The reason in college I started bartending and serving was to make myself comfortable. Walking up to strangers and talking to them.

Larry Roberts [00:21:35]:

Yeah, Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:21:36]:

I heard that people, like, don't realize that there's ways that kind of practice this, but I thought about it back then. It was also an easy way to make money and was pretty good money when you're in college. But I, like, I actually thought, how can I make myself used to doing this? And if I have to do it 100 times in a night, it's going to start getting easier. So I applied for a job as a waitress. Does it, though, honestly?

Larry Roberts [00:22:07]:

Did. Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:22:09]:

Yeah. Like, at first, like, I would be, like, shaking, walking up to tables. Then I ended up doing it for, I don't know, six, eight years. And at that point, I'm just like, hey, y'all, what's up? What can I do? Like, I sit down at their booth, put my feet up, like, all right, what are we doing here? Like, I got maybe a little too comfortable with it, maybe.

Larry Roberts [00:22:26]:

It sounds like maybe. Yeah, yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:22:29]:

But I. I hated serving. I loved bartending, and I never thought I'd be comfortable doing that because it's just so much attention on you, or at least you think it is, but really, people are just like, give me a drink. I don't care. Yeah, but they're like, if anyone is really, really uncomfortable just going up and talking to someone, think about maybe getting a serving job or something. Just to try it out. It helps. Like, it actually did help.

Larry Roberts [00:22:57]:

It's funny, I never. I never considered that as a training method, but because those are two jobs that I never had. I never was a waiter. I was a busbo, but I was never a waiter or never a bartender or anything like that. But I did sell cars. You know, I came right out of high school and sold cars for.

Sara Lohse [00:23:12]:

That's. That's another one. Like any of the jobs that just basically. Anything that's not a desk job.

Larry Roberts [00:23:18]:

Yeah. Forces you to interact with people.

Sara Lohse [00:23:20]:

Yeah. And it makes it a little easier knowing that they're paying you so you're not. Yeah.

Larry Roberts [00:23:24]:

That helps.

Sara Lohse [00:23:25]:

If you're bad at something, don't do it for free. Is that the saying? I don't think so.

Larry Roberts [00:23:29]:

I don't think that's it, but it's close anyways. It's talking about being bad at something. Hopefully we. We're not a so bad at this. Hopefully you're still listening right now. And if you are, we hope you found some value in this episode. And if you did, do us a huge favor. Smash that subscribe button on your favorite platform so we can continue to bring these extroverted episodes each and every week.

Larry Roberts [00:23:49]:

And with that, I'm Larry Roberts.

Sara Lohse [00:23:51]:

I'm Sara Lohse. And we'll talk to you next week.